How to Talk Trash While Playing Spades Rise And Fly From A Spades Game

AngelBean By AngelBean, 5th Dec 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/b941yz2q/
Posted in Wikinut>Gambling>Poker>Offline Poker

Talking trash is as much a part of the game of spades as putting players out of the game is a part of Monopoly. The thing is you have to know when to be creative and when to be downright vulgar. Here are some tips to help you distinguish the difference.

Talking trash is as much a part of the game of spades as putting players out of the game is a part of Monopoly.

Talking trash is as much a part of the game of spades as putting players out of the game is a part of Monopoly. The thing is you have to know when to be creative and when to be downright vulgar. Here are some tips to help you distinguish the difference.

Instructions
Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You'll Need:
A deck of cards
A hand dealt to you.
Friends to play spades with
Good communication skills with your spades partner.

Step One


The spades game has gotten to a crucial point and someone on the opposing team is trying to rub it in that they are winning.

Step Two


Your response will be either “Are you ready for this a** whipping tonight?!”

Step Three


You might also try being obnoxious for instance:
“Are you ready for some spa-aaay-des?!” (You have to say this like they say “Are you ready for some football?!” and drag out the spades word.)

Step Four


If your partner feels that he is doing all the work tell your partner that,
“I can show you about my four books so I will keep them here on this side of the table and place your books over there so we know who got what.”

Step Five


You have to use literary and old silent films movies imagery if you are a team of women and the opposing team is all male. If you are on the last hand of the game and you and your partner are going for 8 books and the other team is going for 4 books and it looks like they won’t even make that say, “This is just the ceremonial last hand guys. We ladies have you fellas down on your knees with your hands tied behind your back and we are standing behind you about to pull the trigger.” Then play all the books out, win the game and make the other team have to “rise and fly” or get up from the table.

Overall Tips & Warnings

Do not be offended if there is a lot of cursing or anger towards you especially if you have been a “doormat” in the game all this time and have been taking other people’s barbs as you play spades.
Stand up for yourself it’s always worth it.
If you have an IBM compatible computer with the game solitaire on it play that in your spare time for at least 20 minutes a day. The solitaire game will definitely improve your spades game as you know the level and order of the cards.
You may be cursed out if the person’s ego was ripped up too badly. Just walk out if the attacks become personal. You were only trying to talk a little trash to make the game more interesting.



How to Rise And Fly From A Spades Game In A Sexy Way If You Are A Woman

Rising and flying in a sexy way if you are a woman is really not hard. If you have a firm tall stance and an angry steady gaze you can walk away in a sexy way from a card game that you just lost.

Instructions
Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Things You'll Need
A sexy walk
A firm angry look
A head turn that says “kiss my behind”
A slow rising stand
A look that stays with the opposing team even though you are walking away

Step One


Stand up slowly with an angry look on your face and stand behind the chair that you were just sitting on.

Step Two


Point your hips towards the person on the opposing team who just ousted you from the game and stare down at him meanly.

Step Three


Walk around the table the way beauty queens walk by walking and then letting your head follow when you can’t keep your head in that direction. I mean come on lady you’re not an owl who can turn it’s head 360 degrees or anything. This is going to be a beauty queen from hell so don’t smile and keep the mean gaze you had in Step Two.

Step Four


Walk around the back side of the table opposite from the chair that you were sitting in and stare at the other person on the opposing team in a very hard and mean way without saying a word.

Step Five


Keep the other person’s gaze as long as you can and then walk away from the table in a direction either parallel to the table or even better perpendicular to the table. Right before you are out of their immediate distance you give them a look that says “kiss my behind.”

Step Six


Now you have just walked off from the table in a sexy way that is sure to make any red blooded American male’s nature rise so only do it if you are of age and you like someone that is at the card table. Like don’t do this if you are a little girl playing with your dad, your brother and your uncles, you know?

Overall Tips & Warnings

Your mentality is that you’re pissed off right now because by you making me lose means that I just had to get up right now and rise and fly and that chair was comfortable on my butt and it was warm already!

If you are wearing stiletto heels while you are doing this you will appear much taller and the click clack of the heels will further let them know just how angry you really are.
Do this sparingly like once every three months if you lose in spades. Believe me, nobody likes a sore loser and you don’t want to make the winning team feel bad.

This is just something you do when you lost but deep down inside you don’t really care that you lost you just wanted to be dramatic so the opposing team would know just who they were messing with.


How to Rise And Fly From A Spades Game In A Sexy Way If You Are A Woman

Rising and flying in a sexy way if you are a woman is really not hard. If you have a firm tall stance and an angry steady gaze you can walk away in a sexy way from a card game that you just lost.

Instructions
Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Things You'll Need
A sexy walk
A firm angry look
A head turn that says “kiss my behind”
A slow rising stand
A look that stays with the opposing team even though you are walking away

Step One


Stand up slowly with an angry look on your face and stand behind the chair that you were just sitting on.

Step Two


Point your hips towards the person on the opposing team who just ousted you from the game and stare down at him meanly.

Step Three


Walk around the table the way beauty queens walk by walking and then letting your head follow when you can’t keep your head in that direction. I mean come on lady you’re not an owl who can turn it’s head 360 degrees or anything. This is going to be a beauty queen from hell so don’t smile and keep the mean gaze you had in Step Two.

Step Four


Walk around the back side of the table opposite from the chair that you were sitting in and stare at the other person on the opposing team in a very hard and mean way without saying a word.

Step Five


Keep the other person’s gaze as long as you can and then walk away from the table in a direction either parallel to the table or even better perpendicular to the table. Right before you are out of their immediate distance you give them a look that says “kiss my behind.”

Step Six


Now you have just walked off from the table in a sexy way that is sure to make any red blooded American male’s nature rise so only do it if you are of age and you like someone that is at the card table. Like don’t do this if you are a little girl playing with your dad, your brother and your uncles, you know?

Overall Tips & Warnings

Your mentality is that you’re pissed off right now because by you making me lose means that I just had to get up right now and rise and fly and that chair was comfortable on my butt and it was warm already!

If you are wearing stiletto heels while you are doing this you will appear much taller and the click clack of the heels will further let them know just how angry you really are.
Do this sparingly like once every three months if you lose in spades. Believe me, nobody likes a sore loser and you don’t want to make the winning team feel bad.

This is just something you do when you lost but deep down inside you don’t really care that you lost you just wanted to be dramatic so the opposing team would know just who they were messing with.

moderator Mark Gordon Brown moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know

Comments

author avatar Retired
14th Jan 2011 (#)

Thanks for sharing

Reply to this comment

author avatar Spicy
1st Jul 2011 (#)

Very nice

Reply to this comment

Add a comment
Username
Can't login?
Password