I am a gambling addict, have been for many years. I started aged 18 by walking in a local gambling arcade and putting that 1st coin in the slot. If I had known where that would lead me, I would never have stepped foot into that arcade. I am now 53 years old and do not know when I will ever truly beat this gambling addiction.
Why Do I Gamble?
I gamble because I am addicted to gambling. I am now able to say that without any remaining guilt. There has been so much guilt in my life because of my gambling addiction, but now I try to control my gambling, rather than allowing the gambling to control me.
In my thirties, I had my biggest ever loss on slot machines in one day. I lost £300, that I definitely could not afford to lose, but at that time in my life I was deeply lost in my gambling addiction. In fact, in reality, I lost more than £300, because I borrowed the cash from my Credit Card, so the resulting interest meant that I had to repay a lot more than £300, with nothing to show for the money, except deep regret. That was not my light bulb moment about how financially destructive my gambling addiction could be, it was a much slower process.
No, I am not fooling myself about my gambling addiction. Since the advent of online gambling, I have been able to set daily or weekly gambling limits which I am then unable to exceed. This has helped me in so many ways to keep within my own spending boundaries. I have 3 online gaming accounts. on 2 of them my daily limit is £10 and on the 3rd Site my limit is £5.
Having the spending limits gives me time to pause, think and consider, whether I even want to take to risk of losing £5 or £10 of my hard earned money. Most of the time, thinking it over, I will usually decide that it is a resounding No!!!! So even though at the moment I still have to have the spending limits as a crutch to prevent me from spending too much time and money on gambling, It is still a lifeline.
I am taking one day at a time, which then becomes a week, then the weeks turn into months. I can go cold turkey and not gamble again, but in times of high stress, I tend to find myself returning to my online gambling. But like any addict, I live in hope that one day I will find that gambling no longer holds any fascination or any attraction for me.